I love Spammers

topic posted Tue, September 20, 2005 - 3:25 PM by  offlineHoney B
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OK, I know this isn't exactly an original topic, but I had to laugh today when I got e-mails in my spambox from the following "authors":


Languishes F. Laughably
Berated J. Intimated
Baroque O. Immobilizes
Spotlighting G. Hindering
Avocados F. Vomit
Mambos D. Unbolts
Skylight M. Citadel
Esperanza Hooker

I can't decide which is my favorite: Avocados F. Vomit or Skylight M. Citadel.
posted by:
Honey B
SF Bay Area
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  • Re: I love Spammers

    Tue, September 27, 2005 - 5:03 AM
    I collected some of these names for a while. Among the more interesting ones were:

    Bearded T. Publicists
    Beekeepers F. Unstabler
    Breathtakingly T. Subordination
    Chance M. Herring
    Clownishness E. Shrillest
    Concreted V. Stiffeners
    Copulae I. Luridness
    Cryptographers V. Hardest
    Deceptiveness C. Intangible
    Deeply U. Exulting
    Downturn F. Metronome
    Exuding H. Spectroscopic
    Fitful D. Recompiling
    Flopping P. Awarer
    Giraffe A. Retributions
    Hottentot D. Smokestacks
    Indication B. Sex
    Kleptomaniac L. Jealousies
    Knows H. Postcodes
    Legions C. Faulknerian
    Livelong R. Variable
    Lunatic M. Buffered
    Measurements J. Pillowcase
    Minimum S. Management
    Moral M. Grubbiness
    Mormonism U. Mortgaged
    Mummers H. Saltcellars
    Napkin F. Trafficked
    Particular T. Erupting
    Pointiest T. Bolting
    Possessed B. Biochemical
    Rebekah S. Halibut
    Salesperson U. Maya
    Scruffy J. Applicant
    Secularism B. Saucepan
    Ticketing B. Bondsmen
    Tidily U. Rear
    Unauthenticated F. Chuckle
    Wench F. Subjoined
    Whodunit L. Entrapped
    • Re: I love Spammers

      Tue, September 27, 2005 - 8:55 AM
      Herb Caen of the SF Chronicle regularly posted "namephreaks" in his column - real names that were odd, or names that went along with the person's occupation, like John T. Pipes being a plumber.

      A friend of mine in HS was almost named "Sandy Beach." Her mother insisted instead on "Sarah."
    • Re: I love Spammers

      Tue, September 27, 2005 - 9:31 AM
      I can relate to Scruffy J. Applicant.

      These must be produced by a random name generator that has a very large vocabulary.

      'Chris Pound's Language Machines' web site has links to lots of themed generators (super-hero names, band names, viking names...)

      There also used to be something called "The Postmodernist Essay Generator" that was kind of funny...probably in that it was all too true. Every once in a while you hear about people publishing randomly generated nonsense in academic journals and the like, though this may be becoming more of an urban-legend kind of a thing.

      www.ruf.rice.edu/~pound/
      • Re: I love Spammers

        Tue, September 27, 2005 - 8:48 PM
        >These must be produced by a random name generator that has a very large >vocabulary.

        The cleverness of so many of the times made me suspect that someone was using some kind of markov chaining generator, so not entirely random. There's a plenty large corpus of text to be scraped from the web.

        I'd like to write something like that myself, actually. I'd only use it for good, of course.
        • Re: I love Spammers

          Wed, September 28, 2005 - 4:17 PM
          I used to work at a book publishing company and one of the authors was
          C. Carney Strange. I loved that!
          • Re: I love Spammers

            Sat, October 1, 2005 - 1:31 PM
            I have the Carneys on my Mom's side... Tom Carney...
            • Re: I love Spammers

              Sun, October 2, 2005 - 2:09 AM
              And Englebert Humperdinck! Yes, he was the man. That’s not his real name. He’s from Britain, but that’s not his name. There’s very few Humperdincks in Britain. He was born Jerry Dorsey, not Englebert Humperdinck. His parents were not Mr. and Mrs. Humperdinck. They never said, “What shall we call our son so he does not get the shit kicked out of him at school?” “We shall call him Englebert!” “Good, that’ll work!” No, his name was Jerry Dorsey. And he released – he released songs as Jerry Dorsey. Songs such as “Ohhhh…uvvvahhabecha…” which didn’t work cause nobody could hear what he was saying.

              And then his managers, obviously, said, “We’re going to change your name Jerry! It’s the name that’s the problem.” And his name changed from Jerry Dorsey to Englebert Humperdinck. I mean, I just wanted to be in the room when they were working that one through. “Zinglebert Bembledack! Yingeebert Dymbleban! Zynglebert Bingleback! Winglebert Humptyback! Slut Bonwalla!” “What?” “All right, Cringlebert Fischeebuns! Steviebuns Bottrittrundens…” “No, Jerry Dorsey, I like Jerry Do – !” “No, we can’t do… Who we got? Zinglebert Bembledack, Tringlebert Wangledack, Slut Bonwalla, Clingeebun Fistlebars, Dindlebert Zendledack, uhh, Jerry Dorsey, umm, Englebert Humptyback, Zenglebert Bengledack, Englebert Humperdinck, Vinglebert Wingledanck – ” “No, no, go back one. Go back one.” “Englebert Humperdinck.” “That’s it.” And it worked!
              • Re: I love Spammers

                Sun, October 2, 2005 - 2:13 PM
                that is a bizarre choice, especially for that time - and it worked (didn't it?)
                You'd think they'd be attracted to names like "Stone Philips" or "Rock Hudson" or "Wolf Blitzer" ... but , no!

                That reminds me; there was of course, Chubby Checker, and Fats Domino, but did you know there also was a Tubby Chess?

                Regarding some compilations of "twist" songs;

                "The liner notes by a certain "Tubby Chess" (Vol. 1) and "Pudgy Parcheesi" (Vol. 2) just about sum up the music contained in the grooves by stating that "they (Knight Records) has culled the most rockin', novel, stupid, inept and twistacular examples from an amazing time in American history".

                They go on to say that "Trust us, you won't be disappointed with this collection of cheap, thoughtless and twisted rock & roll Platters".

                www.talentondisplay.com/AmerMu...01.html

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